Author: system

Categories
Parents Zone

Wear face mask for long time during Epidemic. Howto make children learn to “look at people’s eyebrows and eyes”?

Parenting Tips

system

Written by: Hong Kong Speech and Swallowing Therapy Centre Senior Speech Therapist Eunice Siu

In our daily interactions with others, we not only observe others’ behaviors, but also “explain” and “predict” others’ behaviors. Theory of mind is the ability to infer or substitute other people’s mental states, such as their thoughts, beliefs, desires, and intentions, etc., and to use this ability to explain other people’s thoughts, perceptions, and predict their behaviors. Theory of mind can be subdivided into “emotion recognition”, “beliefs” and “pretend play”.

 

The developmental period for children’s theory of mind is from approximately 3 to 7 years of age. However, before the age of 3, children need to master the following skills to effectively develop theory of mind skills.

 

  1. noticing and imitating the behavior of people around them
  2. recognizing the emotions of others and using words to express them (e.g., happy, sad, angry, surprised)
  3. participates in pretend play
  4. understands that different people have different desires and preferences
  5. understands that people will act to get what they want (e.g. reach for candy)
  6. understands the causes and consequences of unsympathetic emotions (e.g. if I hit my brother, my mom will be mad and then she will scold me)

Ways to improve theory of mind are:

 

  1. Use more psychologically relevant words when talking to your child

 

Using psychologically related words to communicate with children can help children understand their own and others’ psychological conditions more specifically. Examples of psychologically related words are “think,” “pretend,” “know,” “believe,” “feel,” and words related to emotions. Pay attention to what your child is trying to say and then respond. For example, “Ah! You want cake”, “Don’t be afraid! You think I’m gone, but I’m still here,” and “Mommy’s mad at you for hitting your brother. Parents can also explain to their children the psychological situation of others, e.g., “Mei-mei is smiling so much when she receives a birthday present, she should be very excited.

 

  1. Participate in role-playing games with your child

 

Role-playing games encourage children to put themselves in different situations and characters’ perspectives to draw inferences about their behavior. To begin, children can pretend to be common everyday characters, such as mothers, doctors, teachers, and drivers. Parents should pay attention to the fact that both the words and behaviors in the game should be substituted for the role played. This activity helps children experience a variety of emotions, thoughts and interactions in different social situations, and learn to observe, imitate, anticipate, review and adjust their thoughts and behaviors.

I hope parents can make good use of the opportunity to share and communicate more with their children in daily life, so that they can learn to “look at people’s eyebrows and eyes” (meaning read people’s faces) and become a “mind-reading detective”!

 

Source：

Hollin, P., Baron-Cohen, S.,& Hadwin,J.(1999). Teaching children with autism tomind-read. West Sussex, England: Wiely Press

Lowry, L.(2015).” Tuning in” to others: How young children develop theory of mind. The Hanen Centre.

Spastics Association of Hong Kong (2005). Connecting: Developing social skills in children with autism. Spastics Association of Hong Kong.

Powered-by-PD.png
Back
Categories
Parents Zone

Drawings peek into the inner world of children

Parenting Tips

system

Written by: Unleashing Mind  Professional  Counselling Academy Psychotherapist  Lee Wai-Tong

Painting can give us room to express our feelings. I use a brush to create a dialogue with myself in another language, soothing my emotions or gaining insight and unlocking my heart.

 

Crying over trivial stuff

 

In my past child counseling sessions, some parents came to me for help. They did not understand why their son, Ming, often cried over trivial things, such as being late for TV, late for dinner, or when his father came home late, etc. They mentioned the situation to Ming, but they did not understand why, which caused them trouble. Therefore, I suggested conducting a drawing assessment for Ming to understand the environment in which Ming grows up in his mind, which may help to understand the reason why Ming loves to cry.

 

Drawing reveals the reason for crying

 

Ming drew a “family story”. While drawing, he expressed his feelings that his parents were busy with work all day, so he often played alone at home. When his parents came home, Ming wanted to play with them, but his father soon became impatient. In Ming’s mind, it seems that his father is always angry; whenever his mother sees this situation, she will argue with him. In Ming’s eyes, his mother always looks sad when she argues with his father. In Ming’s mind, he knew that his parents loved him, but when he saw that his father was angry and his mother was sad because of him, he felt sad.

A peek into the inner world through paintings

 

Later, I met with Ming’s parents again. They never imagined that the quarrel in front of Ming was deeply engraved in their son’s heart. In addition, the father also found that his tiredness after work affected the quality of parent-child interaction. In this regard, I taught the father some relaxation methods and suggested setting up a “calm zone” at home to give everyone a space to relieve their emotions, and the parents promised to avoid arguing in front of Ming.

 

A month later, Ming no longer cried over trivial matters and the parent-child relationship was better than before. Painting can reflect children’s inner world view. In the process of creation, children project their inner world intentionally or unintentionally, so that we can understand their inner world and help them grow up healthily.

Powered-by-PD.png
Back
Categories
Parents Zone

How to raise children with a sense of security?

Parenting Tips

system

Written by: American Association for Play Therapy, Registered Play Therapist-Supervisor, Registered Social Worker Chan Tsz Wai

 

 

According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, a sense of security is the second basic human need, just after physiological needs. Children who lack a sense of security may exhibit many behavioral problems. Without sufficient support to confidently explore the world, and without enough confidence that someone can provide safe protection, they may send misleading signals through problematic behaviors to express their emotional needs. Often, parents think that managing behavior more strictly will solve these behavioral issues in children, but this approach can backfire, leading to even less fulfillment of the child’s emotional needs.

 

Years of research have found that a sense of security is based on establishing a secure attachment relationship with caregivers. Children with secure attachment relationships have a higher ability to regulate their emotions, solve problems on their own, have higher self-esteem and empathy, and possess better social skills and the ability to establish good relationships with others. However, how to establish a secure attachment relationship with children is a challenge for many parents.

 

Understanding the needs of children

Sometimes children need to explore the world on their own and use their abilities to solve problems, while at other times they need the help of their parents to regulate their emotions. Parents need to know when to let go and when to extend their hands to offer hugs and support, which requires careful observation of the child’s needs. Young children may wander far in the park, wanting to explore the world on their own, and older children may show displeasure when parents supervise their homework, indicating a need for parents to support their exploration. However, when a child falls and cries in pain or is troubled and in tears because they do not understand their homework, that is the time when they need their parents’ help to regulate their emotions.

Being Present with Your Child

When children are emotional, parents often try to quickly find a way to deal with it. However, being present with the child is what they need the most and is the most effective way to help them develop the ability to regulate their emotions. When children are emotional, parents just need to accompany them, accept and empathize with their emotions, and verbalize the child’s feelings to make them feel accepted and understood by their parents. This is the foundation of a secure attachment relationship.

 

Being a Firm and Controlled Parent

Parents might think that understanding their child’s feelings means losing control, but on the contrary, parents actually need to control and set limits while understanding their child’s emotional state to provide them with a sense of security. For example, when it’s time to leave the park and the child throws a tantrum because they don’t want to leave, parents can understand their child’s feelings but must also firmly insist on leaving. Or if a child often procrastinates on homework because they find it difficult, parents can understand the child’s difficulty but must also enforce the consequences of procrastination. Therefore, gentle yet firm parents can make their children feel secure.

 

Understanding How Your Own Upbringing Affects Your Parenting

We learn how to be parents from our own parents, and we also carry the baggage of our childhood. When we encounter difficulties in interacting with our children, it is often related to our own upbringing. Some parents, whose own parents were too busy with work to spend time with them, may give more time to their children when they become parents. However, when they invest time but still face emotional challenges from their children, and they themselves lack the experience of having their emotions satisfied and understood, they may struggle to meet their children’s needs due to their own unresolved emotions. Therefore, parents should first understand how their own upbringing affects them, and then they can adjust themselves when interacting with their children, carefully observing and responding to their children’s needs.

Powered-by-PD.png
Back
Categories
Parents Zone

There Are No Quick Fixes for Learning English

Parenting Tips

system

Written by: Mr. Chiu Wing Tak, a senior education expert and honorary advisor to the Association of Careers Masters and Guidance Masters​

A student asked me, “Is there a quick fix for learning English?” I replied, “No!” While other subjects may have shortcuts, English does not. English is a language, and language is a skill. Learning a language is about mastering a skill, which requires patience, perseverance, and courage. Just like practicing Tai Chi or playing table tennis, one must practice daily and be consistent to achieve success. Therefore, there are no quick fixes for learning English!

 

Here are three methods that have been successfully used by others; you might consider trying one that suits your personality:

 

The first method is Read, Read, Read (extensive reading). Extensive reading can be categorized into two types: reading a large number of works by the same author and reading a variety of works by different authors. When I was in university, I knew a classmate with exceptional English skills. Although he was Chinese, he served as the editor-in-chief of an English newspaper, demonstrating his outstanding command of the language. I asked him how he mastered English, and he told me that he had thoroughly read the complete works of Conan Doyle’s “Sherlock Holmes” from beginning to end. Since then, his English had transformed dramatically. This is a great example of how extensive reading of a single author can enhance English skills.

I also taught a Form One student with a blood disorder who would be bedridden for half a month every two months. Despite this, he consistently scored among the top in English in his class. When I asked him how he managed this, he said, “During that half month in bed, my cousin brought me three or four English books each day. With nothing else to do, I finished them daily and, as a result, unknowingly improved my English level!” This is another good example of successfully enhancing English skills through extensive reading of different authors.

 

The second method is to read aloud the “Letters to the Editor” section of English newspapers every day. Once at a dinner, a high-achieving student came up to chat with me. I knew he had transferred from another Chinese primary school to La Salle College. When I asked how he learned English, he revealed that he read the “Letters to the Editor” in the South China Morning Post aloud every day. After six months, he naturally gained confidence in English and developed an interest in the language. Later, he achieved outstanding results in his exams.

 

The third method is to master English grammar. This was emphasized by Winston Churchill, the British Prime Minister who won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1953. In his memoir “My Early Life,” he mentioned that his teacher, Mr. Somerville, continually practiced English analysis with him, which significantly improved his English skills. He said, “I learned thoroughly. Thus, I got into my bones the essential structure of the ordinary British sentence.” If you understand how to construct sentences, how can you still struggle with learning English?

The three methods mentioned above are essential approaches to mastering English. They all share a common principle: to learn English well, you must have patience—there are no quick fixes!

Powered-by-PD.png
Back
Categories
Parents Zone

Small Training for Writing Skills

Parenting Tips

system

Written by: Child Psychological Development Association, Psychological Counselor, Mr. Ching Wai Keung

“His handwriting is always out of line; it always ‘flies’ all over the place!”

“He can’t even write within the boxes; he usually takes up two boxes for one character!”

“He often skips lines or spaces when writing!”

“It seems like he doesn’t apply enough pressure when he writes; his writing is so faint that it’s almost unreadable!”

These comments reflect the experiences of many children learning to write in K2. When children write, they need to coordinate many abilities, the simplest being the strength and dexterity of their finger muscles (fine motor skills). If there is insufficient training in fine motor skills, children may struggle with writing or holding a pen effectively. So, how can parents address and train this? It’s simple: let them play with playdough, clay, and flour from a young age.

 

Secondly, visual-spatial awareness and eye control are also important for copying. General ball activities are excellent training options. Tracking a ball visually and then performing an action to catch (or kick) it is a natural and fun form of training. Additionally, games like “spot the difference” (finding the differences between two pictures) and maze games (first finding the way with their eyes and then connecting the dots with a pen) can also benefit eye control.

 

Hand-eye coordination is, of course, crucial in copying practice! Activities like tossing and catching beanbags, fishing games, pouring exercises, and cutting paper can greatly aid hand-eye coordination.

When should these games start? How long should they be practiced each day? In fact, parents can start playing these games with their children as soon as they understand and are able to play. Moreover, parents should base activities on the child’s willingness; when the child doesn’t want to play, parents should switch to another game instead of insisting on a set duration. My philosophy is that through daily play, children can acquire certain skills to prevent problems, rather than relying on remedial practice. Otherwise, even the best games can become tedious and unenjoyable, leading to more suffering than enjoyment!

Powered-by-PD.png
Back
Categories
Parents Zone

What Can You Do If Your Child Is Afraid of Embarrassment?

Parenting Tips

system

Written by: Pang Chi Wah, Registered Educational Psychologist, New Horizons Development Centre

It is quite common for young children to become “shy kids” when they encounter strangers or find themselves in unfamiliar environments. How can parents help them break through this barrier and avoid hiding behind them every time they meet new friends?

Are Children Afraid of Strangers or Anyone?

In fact, shyness is a common experience for young children. They may not understand the motives or intentions of others, or they might feel scared in new environments. This is a normal reaction. Shyness is an inner psychological state, and parents should analyze their child’s reactions to different people to determine whether they are afraid of strangers or even shy around familiar faces.

 

If a child feels shy due to the unusual appearance or attire of strangers, or if they are in an unfamiliar environment with poor lighting or enclosed spaces, it is important to note that adults can also exhibit similar behaviors. Feeling shy or panicked in unfamiliar places or crowds is a normal reaction.

 

Gradual Exposure to Adapt to Environments and People

There are both extroverted and introverted children, as these are personality traits. Parents need to accept their child’s personality while also nurturing them to break through their limits. If a child remains shy for an extended period, it can hinder their exploration of the world, limit opportunities to enhance cognitive abilities, and reduce chances for social interaction and engagement in new learning experiences.

 

Parents should help their children gradually adapt to social interactions, moving from familiar to unfamiliar. Start with family members, then relatives, neighbors, friends, acquaintances, and finally strangers, slowly expanding the child’s social circle. Additionally, some children may not be afraid of facing others but may feel uncomfortable in certain unfamiliar environments. Parents should regularly take their children to different new places to expose them to new experiences, helping them learn to remain calm and increasing their social comfort zones. However, parents should not rush this process.

Developmental Issues Can Also Cause Shyness

Moreover, parents should be aware of potential developmental issues that might lead them to mistakenly perceive their child as shy, or that may actually be the root cause of their shyness. For instance, if a child has hearing development issues, their ability to respond to and receive sounds will naturally be poorer than that of a normally developing child. Similarly, if a child is nearsighted or farsighted, their inability to see clearly can lead to feelings of shyness. If parents do not recognize that this shyness stems from vision problems, they may mistakenly believe the child is simply more reserved, overlooking the real issue.

 

Additionally, issues such as sensory integration dysfunction, social barriers, and poor coordination between different sensory channels can also lead to similar behaviors in children. If parents are unable to identify the underlying problems, they should seek assistance from professionals to diagnose the root causes and address them promptly, greatly reducing the impact on the child.

Powered-by-PD
Back
Categories
Parents Zone

Training Young Minds: Brain Training Games

Parenting Tips

system

Written by: Ms. Carmen Leung, part-time lecturer for Bachelor of Education in OUHK

DHA is merely a nutrient that supports brain development in children, but to make children smarter, their brains need proper exercise. Here are some brain-training games that are perfect for children aged 2 to those in primary school!

  1. Maze and Spot-the-Difference Activities
    Although mazes and spot-the-difference games were popular when we were young, they remain valuable tools for children today. These brain-training activities come in various forms; any image-based game that requires children to observe and concentrate to complete tasks qualifies as a brain exercise. For instance, are you familiar with “Where’s Wally?”—one of the most popular brain games worldwide?

In fact, brain games don’t necessarily need to be purchased or printed in books; you can easily create them at home. For example, parents can hide two candies among a pile of clutter, and children will surely focus intently to find them!

  1. Organizing and Categorizing Household Items
    Everyday life offers excellent opportunities for brain training, such as tidying up and sorting. Organizing items systematically not only enhances children’s organizational skills but also encourages their creativity. Sometimes, children may classify items differently than adults, but their methods can be quite logical. Parents might ask children why they categorize items in a certain way, discovering that children’s observational skills can be sharper than expected. They often use details they observe for classification, so parents should avoid imposing adult categorization methods to prevent stifling their problem-solving initiative.

You might wonder what to do if your child dislikes tidying up. Before children develop the habit of organizing and sorting household items, it’s essential to start with games to boost their motivation to complete “missions.” For instance, you could hold a “Room Organization Contest” or “Clean-Up Day,” encouraging family members to help each other tidy up, which also serves as a fun way to exercise their brains!

  1. Memory Games
    There are many memory card games available, such as flipping over a set of cards and taking turns to reveal two at a time. If the cards match, players keep them. Additionally, there are cards with different pictures on them that parents can lay out for children to see, then flip them over and ask children to identify where a specific item is located. These are excellent memory games, and both adults and children can add creativity by changing the rules to make them more interesting.

Powered-by-PD
Back
Categories
Parents Zone

Can Kitchen Scraps Be Ingredients? Eco-Friendly Recipes That Are Healthy and Delicious

Parenting Tips

system

Written by: Ms LEUNG, Ho Ki, Winky

United Christian Nethersole Community Health Service

Community Nutrition Service / Community Nutrition Promotion Officer

“Six eggs, how much sugar? Two teaspoons, and some orange peel.” Whenever I hear this line from a television advertisement, I can’t help but think, “Can orange peel be an ingredient?” My curiosity drove me to find answers, and I discovered several eco-friendly recipes that use kitchen scraps as ingredients. This new discovery inspired and reminded me that many of the ingredients we casually discard, such as fruit peels, eggs, and bread crusts, are actually useful and can be incorporated into dishes.

 

Take orange peel, for example: it is the main source of aroma in oranges. When food is infused with this natural fragrance and color, it not only enhances the flavor but also makes the presentation more appealing, thereby allowing cooks to reduce the use of chemical flavorings and seasonings.

 

Homemade Orange Jam: Sharing Eco-Friendly Eating Tips

 

Readers might want to try making refreshing orange jam at home. When preparing the jam, pay attention to whether the white part of the orange peel is bitter; if so, only use the orange part of the peel. Soak the orange peel in hot water, then simmer it with the orange flesh and juice until thickened. Once cooled, spread it on toasted whole wheat bread. Additionally, parents can make jam with their children, teaching them the importance of eating two servings of fruit daily while sharing the message of eco-friendly eating.

Food not only provides a sensory delight but also supplies us with energy and health. However, food waste often generates a large amount of kitchen scraps, impacting environmental health. I invite all readers, starting today, to put more thought and creativity into their “food” choices, enjoy with a grateful heart, and actively work towards the goal of “zero waste” in their lives, taking action to love our planet.

For Those Dining Out:

     Low-Carbon Eating Tips:

  • Practice a diet rich in vegetables and low in meat.
  • Order according to your needs (e.g., less rice, less noodles, less sauce).
  • Reduce consumption of coffee and soda (due to excessive fuel and water used in their production) or avoid using straws.
  • Dine in more often and order takeout less.
  • Bring your own food container to “pack” leftover food.

For Those Dining at Home:

Healthy Cooking Tips to Avoid Waste: Watermelon Rind Soup

 

Nutritional Benefits:

  • Watermelon rind has a sweet flavor that enriches the taste of the soup, reducing the need for seasonings.
  • Bread crusts can be baked into crispy sticks and enjoyed with low-fat yogurt.
  • Choosing whole grain bread along with the crusts increases dietary fiber intake, aiding intestinal peristalsis.

Powered-by-PD
Back
Categories
Parents Zone

Oral Muscle Development Training: Laying the Foundation for Language Skills

Parenting Tips

system

Written by: Speech Therapist Ms Jenny T. Y. Kwok

Every child’s language ability is different. Some children can speak various words by the age of one and form sentences by two, communicating effectively with others. However, some children develop their language skills more slowly. In fact, the development of oral muscles has a profound impact on both eating and language abilities. Parents can engage in various small games to train their children’s oral muscles, laying a solid foundation for their language development.

 

Oral muscles include the muscles of the cheeks, lips, tongue, and jaw, which develop and improve with age and eating experiences. The strength, control, flexibility, and coordination of these muscles are crucial factors in a child’s ability to learn to speak.

 

Daily meal times provide excellent practice opportunities. However, some cases involve children primarily eating finely chopped or pureed foods, which can hinder the normal development of their chewing abilities, affecting both eating and language development. Common issues include drooling and unclear or inaccurate pronunciation, so oral muscle problems must be addressed.

 

Here are some simple games to train oral muscles, which we hope will improve children’s oral capabilities through fun activities, thus laying a strong foundation for their language skills.

 

Blowing Practice

 

How to Play:

 

First, prepare a basin of water and position it between the parent and child, who should face each other. Fill the basin halfway with water and place a paper boat on the parent’s side, adding a small treat or toy (such as stickers, etc.) inside. The parent blows the paper boat toward the child, who can then take the treat. If the child wants more, they must blow the boat back toward the parent.

 

This blowing exercise strengthens the ability to retract the tongue and round the lips, enhancing the stability and control of the jaw, which improves speech clarity.

Chewing Practice

 

How to Play:

 

Cut harder vegetables or fruits (such as carrots, cucumbers, celery, and apples) into strips approximately the length and thickness of a finger. The parent holds the end of the vegetable strip and places it between the child’s molars to encourage chewing. The parent should stabilize the food’s position, pushing it slightly each time the child bites until the strip is completely eaten, alternating sides for practice. Parents can adjust the size, length, and hardness of the food strips according to the child’s abilities.

 

Chewing requires the coordination of the lips, tongue, and jaw muscles, while speech development also relies on the collaboration of different oral muscles to produce various sounds. Therefore, chewing training helps improve clarity of pronunciation.

Powered-by-PD
Back
Categories
Parents Zone

How to Help Children Distinguish Between “Needs” and “Wants”? Start Financial Literacy with “Role Modeling”

Parenting Tips

system

Written by: Certified Children’s Financial Literacy Instructor Miranda Lee

Children growing up during the pandemic have had limited opportunities to go to school and even less chance to go shopping. Many parents are concerned that their children may be missing out on important experiences and are troubled about how to provide “nourishment” for their children’s minds.

Recently, a friend mentioned that her 8-year-old daughter has learned to shop online by herself. Not long ago, she bought a large quantity of stationery and books from an online bookstore, using her parents’ online payment platform. During the purchasing process, the daughter initially intended to buy only two storybooks, but she was attracted by the incessant pop-up ads and promotions, inadvertently adding many extra “wanted” items to her cart.

Indeed, adults occasionally experience “wanting syndrome,” being tempted by the appearance of products and advertisements, leading to impulsive spending. For children with weaker financial literacy, it can be easy to mistakenly believe that online shopping is “zero burden” as long as their parents handle electronic payments, creating a consumption model where “if you want it, you can have it.”

How to Cultivate Correct Spending Habits?

Research shows that parents’ attitudes toward money and their financial habits directly influence their children’s financial perspectives. Therefore, “role modeling” is crucial. Parents should allow their children to observe their spending processes, experiencing how they face the temptation of “wants.” Before shopping, they should ask themselves three questions: Is it worth the money? Do I already have something similar? Am I going to use it regularly? When parents have clarity in their minds, they can naturally avoid impulsive spending.

To incorporate learning into shopping, I first allow my children to select the items they need. The payment process becomes a great opportunity to teach them about “financial literacy.” I encourage them to review their shopping cart to identify what is a “need,” considering the value and practicality of the items. I remind them that while fulfilling “wants” can satisfy desires, it’s essential to assess whether it’s a “need” that should be purchased immediately and whether they should use their own allowance to cover the cost. This approach directly requires them to take money from their wallets to pay. As a result, children become more cautious, hesitating and struggling with the decision of “to buy or not to buy,” which can be quite amusing.

Encouraging children to use physical money helps them understand that items must be purchased with money and cannot be wasted casually.

Parents’ use of money serves as a reflection for children in establishing their financial perspectives. Therefore, setting a good example is very important, making the most of everyday opportunities. The concept of “wants” is endless, while money is limited; thus, we must think carefully before consuming, distinguishing between “needs” and “wants,” and living within our means. Especially during the pandemic, teaching children to be grateful and content is the most valuable financial wisdom we can impart to them for a lifetime.

Powered-by-PD
Back